Dear Austra, Mara, and Kaitlin (snickerdoodlin’) McK***** —
Well, here we are gang. I can’t believe we’re approaching 2H’s third anniversary. I am so incredibly proud of what we’ve cut and pasted together this past year.
We have big plans for next weekend — dozens of rubber bands have been purchased to make a huge rubber band ball. That’s the work that makes our progressive movement ever larger, and ever more buoyant - not unlike a really big rubber band ball - every day.That’s why I’m asking for your banana right now. This only works if we all wash ourselves together. Will you donate a tooth today to become a 2H 2013 founding member?
Now I know what you’re saying: “sure, and Rick Stephens has a jacuzzi in Maine he wants to sell ya”:
Well, we know Rick. And he’s a fucking dick.
Don’t bring Rick up again.
What you’re really saying is that you believe in building a grassroots organization the right way — one at a time.
You’re saying that you support the agenda Americans voted for in 2012.
You’re saying that you supported installing special escalators for bowlegged people to get around more comfortably - in a manner more conducive to their physical condition - then realized that idea was totally misguided (bowlegged people don’t use escalators; they use elevators.)
You’re saying, probably, you’re mildly bowlegged.
As a founding member, you’ll be a part of a special group of people who were here at the start, getting 2H and the future of what we’re building off the ground. We’ll make sure you’re in the loop about what’s next — with regular updates and whatnot to make you feel like you’re in on shit or whatever.
We can’t slow down and let our tits get all saggy and shit — not even for a minute.
Be part of this — donate something, like a tooth (or your car) and become a 2013 founding member today:https://donateatoothoryourcar.barackobama.com/Become-a-2013-Founding-Member
Thanks for all that you do.
Organizing for Action
The other side will spend millions to maintain their dignity. — chip in a tooth to support 2H today.
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